I remember the first time I stood up for myself at work. I was in my early 20s, and I was about a year into my first official job as an Area Sales Manager at a department store. It was such a fun job. It was fast paced, and I loved having my own area to manage and grow. Well, one day, I learned a good lesson!
A new manager took over our store and he was totally a straight shooter. Every morning, ALL store employees gathered together for a quick pow wow. It was a chance for the store manager to share updates on new promotions and from time to time, managers would give input or ask questions. I really cannot recall exactly what happened, but I remember asking a simple question and this manager YELLED at me in front of everyone. He seemed very irritable that morning, but I was totally SHOCKED that he was so rude and demeaning to me in front of everyone.
That had never happened to me. I never had a class on this! I just remember feeling so disrespected and I marched my little stilettos to the corporate office (it was in the back of the store past housewares). I’ll never forget it. I had NO IDEA what I was going to say.
Well, I marched right into his office and said, “I need to speak to you!” He could tell I was upset and his eyes got SUPER BIG. I said, paraphrasing, “I work so hard everyday. Most days I put in over 10 hours. It is not acceptable for you to demean me in front of the entire staff. I’m respectful to you and you’re going to need to be respectful with me.” Something like that.
OMG. Total silence. Then, he gasped and said, paraphrasing, “Amma, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I came off like that. I’m just having a busy morning.”
I remembered my knees were shaking so bad and I had high heels on. Gosh, I was so nervous. I was just hoping he didn’t fire me. LOL.
You know what? After that, we were the best of friends! We worked well together and I’m so glad that even though I was kind of scared, I stood up for myself.
How we handle confrontation is just one aspect of how we can find our voice at work.
In the fast-paced world of work, recognizing your value is essential for your personal growth, job satisfaction, and your career advancement. When you understand your worth, you can advocate for yourself, make informed decisions, and contribute effectively to your organization.
Here are some practical steps to help you recognize and embrace your value:
1. Self-Reflection and Assessment
Take time to reflect on your skills, experiences and achievements. As I always advise women, evaluate yourself in your role and do it often. Challenge yourself to get better. Don’t wait for someone to point out an area where you’re slipping. Get on it. Make adjustments and improve your quality of work often. It’s always great to assess yourself.
Consider the following questions:
What unique strengths do you bring to your role?
How have you positively impacted your team or projects?
What feedback have you received from colleagues or supervisors?
What unspoken do you notice?
What areas do you need to improve?
Write down your answers and create a personal inventory of your accomplishments. Acknowledge your contributions, no matter how small they may seem. Be ok with your areas for improvement.
2. Do Your Salary Research
Research industry standards and salary benchmarks for your position. As I know it, all reputable employers have a salary band available. This shows you the lower and upper end of salaries for the company by category and position. If you’re being considered for a promotion or you’re curious if you’re getting paid fairly, you can request it from human resources. You should look at that salary band and determine whether or not you’re getting paid fairly.
Understand the market value of your skills and expertise. Websites like Glassdoor, LinkedIn, and salary surveys provide valuable insights. Armed with this information, you can negotiate better compensation and benefits. Remember, it’s so critical for your success and fulfillment that you are fairly paid.
It all starts with knowledge.
Here are some things to consider about your journey towards proper pay:
Are you on the lower end or upper end of the experience band? If you have 10+ year's experience, you are experienced in your field. Also, if you have major traction in previous roles, that is something to consider to get paid more.
Does your company typically pay more or less than the industry standard? This is something you should research and know before going into the role. Fairly enough, there are some smaller companies or nonprofits who may not be able to offer higher salaries yet perhaps offer the tradeoff of more flexibility and more input into your role.
3. Track Your Record of Success
Keep a record of your achievements. Document completed projects, successful outcomes, and any quantifiable results. Use this evidence during performance reviews or when seeking promotions. Numbers speak louder than words—whether it’s revenue growth, cost savings, or improved efficiency.
I would encourage you to come up with a data dashboard for your role. Perhaps a monthly or quarterly report. Many roles already have these types of metrics built into the role, however, if it’s not, create it! Measuring your success is also an impressive way to show you care about your role and it’s also a great way to track success year over year.
If your role is not at the point where you can track metrics, I would recommend at least documenting conversations with your supervisor and coworkers. Not necessarily every single conversation, but times where you are discussing progress or responsibilities or resolving misunderstandings.
The reality is that conflict and misunderstandings about boundaries and responsibilities and other matters are bound to happen, but it’s important to track how things are progressing. Also, once you track these scenarios, you can look back and see patterns, good or bad and you’ll be able to identify trends, behaviors, how you’re feeling about your progress and make adjustments.
4. Advocate for Yourself
Don’t wait for others to recognize your value. Speak up! In meetings, share your ideas, propose solutions, and contribute actively. When you believe in your worth, others will too. Be assertive but respectful, and don’t shy away from discussing your accomplishments.
I would also encourage you to find your IT in the workplace. We all have an IT. Maybe you’re all about operations, so in meetings, you’re known to bring up issues of process and project management. Perhaps you’re the communicator and you often speak up in meetings about how to best market and communicate internally about projects or ideas. Maybe you’re the finance and bottom-line person and you find it necessary to connect the dots to keep everyone on track and on budget.
Find your IT and speak up on that. Be that expert member on the team and bring IT on! I am more of a strategic thinker, innovator and community connector. I’m often the person on the team talking about ways to connect with the community. That’s important to me so I speak up about that. I’m also an operational person and I appreciate a good process! I like to divide up tasks and projects. I love looking at the big picture and then drilling it back to where to start, then where to break projects down into doable pieces.
What’s your voice? Are you the teamwork person? The connector? The tech genius. Bring your expertise to your role at work.
5. Deal with Conflict Maturely, then Move Forward
I would also recommend handling conflict with whoever you have an issue with directly. Be open with your supervisor and team about misunderstandings and give feedback as urgently as possible. One thing I’ve come to realize: people may be a little thrown off when you confront a situation or express anger, frustration or a negative emotion. However, in the end, people tend to respect you more in the long run when you handle situations with respect and go to the source rather than stirring up trouble with other team members. Finding your voice is also about dealing with conflict in a mature way.
Here are a few things I believe we all deserve in our workplace:
Fair and transparent pay
Open and honest feedback
No disrespectful behavior like yelling and demeaning behavior
Integration with other members of the team
Reasonable workload
Retaliation
When these issues get off track, I believe this is when we feel agitated or uneasy about our experience. Don’t ignore it if you see a recurring problem with your work experience. When you sense things are off, it’s time to have some conversations.
So, let’s talk a little bit about how to advocate for yourself and keep things on track:
Be sure you are receiving a fair annual increase compared to those in your company and department
Immediately address issues where you’re being treated inappropriately
Be proactive about working well with team members, but be sure to set boundaries
Communicate if your workload is off balance
Approach disagreements with an open mind
What we’re discussing is all about boundaries. You want to be a great team player, but you need to set a limit. Don’t go around doing other people’s work. You can help people, but let your coworker do their own work. Be respectful with your supervisor but understand that all great relationships start with a foundation of mutual respect.
Lastly, once you deal with conflict, MOVE FORWARD. You know, the reality is that in the workplace, it’s easy to point fingers, blame and focus on the shortcomings of other people and overly focus on conflict, however, it’s a waste of time. Focus on moving forward. Whether you like it or not, there will be people at work that you don’t have a super close relationship with, but just find a way to work peaceably, address situations and move forward. Great leaders keep things moving forward.
6. Seek Feedback and Mentorship
Feedback is a powerful tool for growth. Seek constructive feedback from colleagues, mentors, or supervisors. Use it to refine your skills and address areas for improvement. A mentor can guide you, provide insights, and help you navigate your career path.
We can seek feedback both informally and formally. Honestly, the end of the year is not the only time you should receive feedback or give feedback. If you have direct reports, I recommend meeting with them 1:1 monthly to just discuss improving workflow or to get their feedback. Your supervisor should also express with you on a regular basis any points of critical feedback.
Finding a mentor both inside and out of your workplace can be incredibly helpful. A mentor outside of the workplace can help give you an external perspective and realistic view. You can also talk about confidential issues that may be difficult to share with a colleague. A mentor within the workplace can also help you have an advocate especially if you’re having difficulty. They can provide additional context for your role. Also, if you work for a large organization, having a mentor within the company can be a great way to build your network and find opportunities to expand.
Remember, knowing your value isn’t about arrogance—it’s about self-awareness and confidence. When you appreciate your worth, you’ll thrive in your professional journey.
In short, you can expect that your work experience may bring some frustrations and it’s such a good feeling when you find your voice and embrace it. It’s great to set boundaries to maximize your experience and most of all, it’s great when you start tapping into your superpowers and truly find your voice.